Here is something from the mid-1990's, while I worked in print shops...the underlined words were commonly used in offset printing back then...
Yes, Inkslinger has the best inkstinks (sic) of any printing-press operator that I know!
He has a nose for pressing problems and always keeps impressing customers under covers. Occasionally he serves up an untasty looking plate, but he manages to improve his image before it hits the sheets. Rumor has it that he wields a knife around the stock and Holyrollers are reportedly boycotting his negative imagery.
Inkslinger claims that it all comes out positive when reaches the delivery. But this positive imagery was damaged the day he stood under the ink fountain, threatening to shed his blanket.
Stripping never held his interest though, so he went back to his flat and continues to this day to impress all customers (although his fellow workers see through his tacky, transparent image). He glosses over their opinions, saying that he truly is the color and impact of the entire printing industry.
His co-workers thin-caliper vanishes in the wash as he exclaims, "Besides you're chemistry is unbalanced--emulsified as far as I'm concerned!"
Inkslinger truly has inkstinks, you can smell him from anywhere in the shop.
Never mind the dog, BEWARE of the Bass Player!
For Sale Buy Owner
Spare change please, I want to help the poor hapless beggar down the street.
Pity me please, I'm done pitying myself.
Went to the Colorado History Museum today and ran into TJ there--that is Thomas Jefferson. He was celebrating his birthday, so he decided to hang out and educate us on the early years of our great country.
Happy President's Day!!
Here is something that I have been wanting to write out for awhile, hopefully they are appropriate for this audience.
These phrases are from our refrigerator magnets. I crack up everytime I see them.
1) Dogs think like most chickens.
2) Your words lack important butter.
3) The cynic is always wrong despite sexy grammar.
4) Talking is intelligence to a snake.
5) Pound Something!
6) Bugs had luscious skin.
7) Ask for delerious friend or pretend goddess in pink.
8) He put no lather in her wet pool water.
9) Always hit men with my size pants.
10) Cry Tiger Baby! Through time...
11) Her lust for chocolate will soar by summer.
12) You said, "Worship hot yellow snow."
13) A happy breast, play her balloon.
14) Never leave each bitter hair beneath dog eternity.
15) Bring more elaborate farm rock music.
16) Man and beauty run together in a tiny rust bed.
17) He has an enormous bare woman elephant.
18) Remember when I was born, light was repulsive?
19) No man went 'round pumpkin.
20) Whisper like in a symphony.
21) But moan behind mad dinosaur.
Fidgety with nothing to do.
So Write. Write about nothing.
Nothing. This is a very interesting subject, in that nothing has to be
Is this an oxy-moron? Or am I?
I equate this with attempting to solve the mystery of life.
Wait I’m off the subject!
What was the subject?
No, what is the predicate.
No, nothing was the subject.
Nothing is an adjective in that case.
No, nothing was what I was writing about.
Yeah, I can tell!
Anyway the latest developments in the life of Inkslinger are:
Nothing!? Come on now buddy, there has to be something!
Not really. What is a guy like me doing writing anyhow? Volumes
are filled with nothing. If I keep up at my present rate, they will
dedicate an entire library to me when I die.
"The Inkslinger Library of Nothing"
Hundreds of shelves filled with thousands of notebooks. Aisle upon aisle, upstairs and basement. These notebooks have writing in them, but they take you nowhere.
No exotic beaches.
No towering mountain ranges.
No deserts either...well maybe one...
Well, well, well...trying to to be creative. How 'bout this?
"What'd you do Saturday?"
"Me? Oh, um nothing...."
"Nothing? That must be boring. What does nothing look like to you?"
"Well um I went to a meeting at 7:30am. After that I went to the DAM for their monthly free day. Not many people there this month and they were in the middle of changing displays, but I wandered around like a little kid in a candy shop. Then I got a cup of coffee, sat outside writing and people watching. I decided to go back in and look around awhile longer. Then I went for a walk through Civic Center park (an adventure in itself). It was after noon when I realized I was getting tired and hungry, so I made my way back to the car. There is an Arby's a couple of blocks down from the museum, so I went there for a lunch before driving home (may have seen Samuel L. Jackson at Arby's, someone that looked just like him anyway).
"At home I laid down to relax for an hour or so, then got out my bass guitar and practiced that for awhile. Then I watched TV for a bit.
"So see I did nothing..."
"Wow! Your nothing is a whole lot more than my nothing!"
Well, well, well...howz that?